Questions

by Byron on May 23, 2016

Decker, we do questions almost every night, right before bed.  It started about a year ago when I would ask how your day was and you would only ever say, “Good.”
Finally, I said, “Well I have some questions.  What color is your mat that you sleep on at nap time?  Who do you sleep next to at nap time?”  And you answered these questions with a lot of animation.  You slept on the green rug.  First next to Teddy.  Then next to Nate.  Then Nate was acting up and Mr. Kevin had to separate you guys.  Or you were acting up.  Just because you tell me a lot more doesn’t mean you tell me everything.  🙂
I’m thrilled that I get to ask you questions and we get to talk.  I’m thrilled that you actually respond to me and open up to me.  I know there may be phases where you are not as communicative.  I’d like to think that I’m always, always going to be as eager to listen.
There’s also an important lesson here.  People like to talk about themselves.  If I ask you “How are you doing, that kind of about you, but even at your young age you more or less know that question gets answered automatically.  “Fine.”  “Good,” we say.
If you really ask about things that other people care about, they will generally talk to you.  They will answer you and open themselves up to you.  If you are someone who listens, you will be someone who is liked.
You liking me and opening up to me is super important to me.  You knowing that I will be there to listen is vital to me.  You don’t have to like me all the time – and when I’m disciplining you or teaching you to delay gratification – you sometimes don’t.  But even in those times, you know I listen.
I love you.
Dad

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