Boys,
Some people do some really horrendous shit. Really horrendous. Unfortunately, it’s a part of humanity that’s always been here and likely always will be here.
I had a meeting today with a potential client’s mom. He could not come see us because he was in jail. I listened to his Mom and I read documents, taking a somewhat clinical approach. How could I help? What did the law say? I read about the terrible things he did. I admit, some of it was very difficult to read.
I was not thinking of the woman that sat across from me as a mother. I was thinking of her as the one who brought the documents and planned on paying the bill. Then her son called from jail. We were five minutes into the conversation before I saw Mom’s cell phone listed his name as “Bug.”
This grown man who had done horrible things, who was now sitting in jail for what might be a long time, was called Bug. At least to one woman. I saw him not as a monster but as a man. I saw her not as a checkbook, but as a mother. And I saw you boys, as I often do, as true gifts from God. Little miracles that I’m thankful for every day. Even when it’s hard.
Why do I tell you this?
Two reasons, I think.
1.) I think what this man did started in his mind. I think he struggled with it for a long time. A long time. Deep mental pain, guilt, anguish, fear, compulsion. It’s the rare individual who is a true sociopath.
No matter what you boys are going through, you can come to me. Anything. Whether it’s major or minor. I don’t care. I won’t judge. I want to help you. Always. Please know you can come to me. The worse it is, the harder it is to think or to say, the more you might need somebody. I’m here.
With any luck, you boys will only have enough struggles to turn you into men. No more, no less. But whatever struggles you have, you can count on me.
2.) To some, he’s a monster. To Mom, he’s bug. To me, he’s a human being. The actions I read about were monstrous. But Mom could tell you the other side. I advocate for human beings.
I love you guys.
Dad