Decker,
I made a mistake last week. I was at a prison visiting a client. The guard who was to let me in didn’t know the institution’s rules and was remarkably rude to me. I told myself not to say anything, not to lose my cool, and not to cause a problem. However, at some point, I openly used profanity regarding the situation. I was asked to leave the institution without accomplishing any of what I was there to do.
By being rude, I was denied the chance to accomplish my goals. By being anti-social, I wasn’t allowed to play in other peoples’ worlds. The fact that the person I was dealing with was horrible didn’t mean a thing. You encounter horrible people from time to time. You have to simply ignore. Either that or risk not getting what you want.
The key for me has been figuring out what my underlying values are. Once I know about my values, I can try my best to make my actions align with them. My values are based around the following:
- The Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have done unto you
- Live and let live
- Transparency
- We’re not in control of anything expect the way we view everything
- Help others in order to get for yourself
- Do not hurt others
Once you have your values underly your actions, you can be more aggressive in what you do everyday. You can feel free to go make a mess. Start a business, make a friend, make mistakes, fuck some things up. If the actions are in line with your values, any problems you create will lead to solutions.