Disciplining Children

by Byron on November 5, 2017

Guys-

I used to think that disciplining kids was about making them – making you guys – understand.  Understand the world, understand why you shouldn’t be selfish, understand why you have to do things you don’t want to do.  But I have recently come across a discipline program that is, in many ways, focused around the concept that children – especially young children – are not little adults.  You guys are kids; and that’s okay.  I shouldn’t force you into adult thinking as children.

I was brought up with adult thinking.  Or, I should say, with Grandma and Grandpa, especially Grandpa, thinking that I was a little adult.  This likely did a few good things for me, and a bunch of things that weren’t great for my development.

It’s not that you guys are bad.  You guys are kids.  You think like kids and you act like kids – which is perfect.  It’s just that, over time, I have to help you become adults.  Well adjusted, kind, independent, caring, self-sufficient adults.

I’m coming to understand that this may not have anything to do with you.  It may have to do with me and my ability to control my own emotions.  I should discipline, not react, scream, be upset, etc.

I yelled at you guys like fucking crazy a few nights ago.  I called Mommy.  Mommy called Mimi and PopPop to come over to help me.  I was a lunatic.  I was raging.  You guys were not being any more or less kids than usual.  You guys were being you guys.  I was just hyper-stressed out from work.  That’s not fair to project onto you guys.  Not fair at all.

I’m working on it.

I love you guys,

Dad

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