So Grateful I Get to be Close to You

by Byron on April 19, 2014


I went to visit a client on federal prison yesterday.  There was a little boy in the waiting area.  He was being a little mischievous.  He looked a little like you.  He was about 6 months older than you.  I made faces at him and smiled.  He made faces back and smiled.  I thought of you and wondered what you were doing.  I missed you immensely.

He was with his “Mom-Mom” and his “Pop-Pop.”  Just like you, he called his grandfather “Pop-Pop.”  He was there to see his daddy.

His dad was in jail.  Understanding the situation immediately, my heart hurt.  He and his dad were apart.  It wasn’t right for either of them.  They deserved to be together.

But his dad was in jail.  I thought of the struggles the vast majority of people have.  Trying so hard to make it in a cruel world.  Was his dad a bad man?  I doubt it.  Were his crimes honorable?  Was he merely trying find the resources to provide for his boy?  This boy that looked a bit like you.  I doubt that too.  His dad probably wasn’t completely pure.  But his dad was human.  A man.  Just like your dad.  His dad had some good and some not so good, just like us all.

Did his daddy deserve to be in prison?   Who knows?  I don’t know.

What I know was I hope he enjoyed his boy today.  And I hope his boy is gonna be okay.  And I missed you terribly.  You slept at Mimi and Pop-Pop’s last night.  I drove there on my way home from New Jersey just to see your smile and give you a kiss.

I love you!



Mistakes, Values & Making a Mess

by Byron on April 6, 2014


I made a mistake last week.  I was at a prison visiting a client.  The guard who was to let me in didn’t know the institution’s rules and was remarkably rude to me.  I told myself not to say anything, not to lose my cool, and not to cause a problem.  However, at some point, I openly used profanity regarding the situation.  I was asked to leave the institution without accomplishing any of what I was there to do.

By being rude, I was denied the chance to accomplish my goals.  By being anti-social, I wasn’t allowed to play in other peoples’ worlds.  The fact that the person I was dealing with was horrible didn’t mean a thing.  You encounter horrible people from time to time.  You have to simply ignore.  Either that or risk not getting what you want.

The key for me has been figuring out what my underlying values are.  Once I know about my values, I can try my best to make my actions align with them.  My values are based around the following:

  • The Golden Rule:  do unto others as you would have done unto you
  • Live and let live
  • Transparency
  • We’re not in control of anything expect the way we view everything
  • Help others in order to get for yourself
  • Do not hurt others

Once you have your values underly your actions, you can be more aggressive in what you do everyday.  You can feel free to go make a mess.  Start a business, make a friend, make mistakes, fuck some things up.  If the actions are in line with your values, any problems you create will lead to solutions.



A Job Ain’t Nothing But Work!

March 20, 2014

Decker, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Jobs suck.  You don’t want one.  In the immortal words of Marlon Wayans, “A job ain’t

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We Can’t Stop Time

March 12, 2014

Decker, There are a lot of different moments where I look down at you and I try to capture a mental picture.  I say to myself, “I’ll

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A Small Moment of Clarity

March 2, 2014

Decker, For some reason, two nights ago, I had a thought about the 5 W’s of my life.  I knew the answers.  I’ll share them with you.

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We Feed You Shit

February 28, 2014

Decker, I want to apologize for what we feed you.  It isn’t actually shit, and your Mom and I try.  However, I keep getting this sneaking suspicion

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Coding and Decoupling

February 26, 2014

Decker, my Dad, your Grandpa, wanted me to be a lawyer.  In subtle ways it was communicated to me.  I felt like it was engrained in me

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Knowledge, Information, & the New

February 6, 2014

Decker, The three types of human relationships with radically new knowledge and information: 1.) the denier.  It’s simply too complicated to mix in the new information with

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We Have the Tools

January 23, 2014

Dear Decker, Technology has given us the tools to care more- more truth, more transparency, more holding those in power accountable.  This is true be it corporations,

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Always Bet on Winners!

January 16, 2014

Decker, In your life, you will have to bet on things, and on ideas, and on people.  Business partners, concepts, friends, employers, employees, mentors, vendors, suppliers, websites,

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