Knowing Stuff

by Byron on January 14, 2018


Knowing stuff is over-rated.  I think your generation is really going to understand that in a way that prior generations have not, because of how easily information is accessed.  Knowing people is likely now, and likely to be in the future, under-rated.

Knowing how to access information will always be important.

Acting like you know something that you don’t is an ego issue.  It’s a waste of time and energy and will make you feel bad in the long run.  Gloating about knowing something that you actually do is a similar waste, likely to lead to you feeling badly.

None of this is to say you cannot feel confident in knowing things.  Conversely, feeling confident in your knowledge and ability to express it is an important life skill.  Knowing the difference between confidence, arrogance, and ignorance is the key.  This fact is basically as true in all aspects of life as it is in knowledge.

Knowing it all is not as important as you might think it is.  Oh, how I wished I knew less at various points in the past.

These days, I find such comfort in the ability to express the concept that “I don’t know.  But I’d like to learn.”

Love you guys,




It’s Christmas eve.  We’re on our way to Uncle Andrew’s and Aunt Heather’s in DC for XMas eve dinner.  The Grinberg’s are coming in from California.  Grandma and Grandpa will be there with Aunt Laura and Great-Grandma.  It should be a great time!

Last night, I did something I never do anymore – I went out.  I went to see a band play Jerry Garcia and Grateful Dead covers with David and Zeke Lowy’s Dad.  The lead guitarist is a guy named Chris Jacobs.  Mommy has known him since they were little kids – they went to the same elementary school.

I had a great view- right on the rail upstairs at the 8×10.  It’s very special to be able to watch someone do what they are obsessed with and born to do.  Chris just loses himself in his music.  He plays the guitar completely engrossed in what he is doing.  He becomes just a part of the music.  Without knowing for sure, I’d venture to say it’s impossible for Chris to have any fear, worry, care, or self seeking thoughts in the moments when he plays and loses himself in the moment.

I define that as manifestation of obsession.  In the best possible way … doing something that brings joy, knowledge, happiness, peace and/or love to others – be it one other or a whole world.

Now, obsession with self won’t work; obsession with material things won’t work; obsession with things that don’t serve others generally won’t work.  I can’t say these things as absolutes, but it’s my entire experience with the world.

So become obsessed.  Lose yourself in the music.  Serve others.  Do right by the world.  Not because it’s the “right thing to do” (even though it is).  Do it because I don’t think anything could possibly make you feel better.

I love you guys!  Merry X-Mas 2017!



The Latest with Gib

December 17, 2017

Gibby- Two weeks in a row writing to just you!  I just wanted to relate one event and one little habit you have. First, the event… Last […]

Read the full article →


December 10, 2017

Gibson- I don’t think I’ve memorialized on this blog that you get nosebleeds.  You get them about once per week.  More in the dryer season, like now.  […]

Read the full article →

On Dying and Death from a 5-Year Old

December 4, 2017

Decker- You’re barely more than a month past your fifth birthday.  This past week you declared that: “Mommy, you’re not real.” “Why?” Mom or I asked. “Because […]

Read the full article →

I Wish I Hadn’t Done Drugs

November 11, 2017

Guys- I wish I hadn’t done drugs when I was younger.  I have been sober for a little more than a dozen years.  For me, substances, of […]

Read the full article →

Disciplining Children

November 5, 2017

Guys- I used to think that disciplining kids was about making them – making you guys – understand.  Understand the world, understand why you shouldn’t be selfish, […]

Read the full article →

What is Dying?

October 20, 2017

Decker, You asked me about dying today.  You’ve asked me about it a few times recently.  You know that Mandy’s aunt was buried, and you thought that […]

Read the full article →

October 2017

October 8, 2017

Guys, What’s been happening lately? Deck- you are about six weeks into McDonogh.  You seem to be loving it.  You are testing your muscle with Mom and […]

Read the full article →

Grodey Manoody

September 10, 2017

Boys- Right now, when things in our house, they aren’t just gross, they are “grodey manooooooody.”  I think Gibby coined the term a month or so ago. […]

Read the full article →