Our Little Sayings

by Byron on December 19, 2014

Hey Guys,

Once kids start talking, I think all parents have little things they say to their kids to show them off.  A mom is so proud when she counts to three and her two year old goes, “four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!”  Or even just a dad asking what his son’s favorite animal is and little guy says, “Rarr, tiger!”  There are infinite little examples of this.

Decker, one of mine is I say, “What are we??”  And you say, “Best-ies”  Sometimes it sounds like “Bet-eeeeees!!”  I love it.  Makes my life.  I say it when it’s just us watching Wheels on the Bus on youtube.  I say it when people are around.  Anytime.  Sometimes I ask you, “Deckie, how much do I love you?”  You say, “Big!”  Makes my life.

Gibson, we don’t have our things yet, because your only six and a half months old.  But virtually every single time I look at you you smile huge.  Makes my life.  You brighten lots of days.  Not just mine.

I can’t explain the overwhelming joy you guys bring me.  I love you both so BIG.

Dad

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His Mom Still Called Him Bug

by Byron on December 8, 2014

Boys,

Some people do some really horrendous shit.  Really horrendous.  Unfortunately, it’s a part of humanity that’s always been here and likely always will be here.

I had a meeting today with a potential client’s mom.  He could not come see us because he was in jail.  I listened to his Mom and I read documents, taking a somewhat clinical approach.  How could I help?  What did the law say?  I read about the terrible things he did.  I admit, some of it was very difficult to read.

I was not thinking of the woman that sat across from me as a mother.  I was thinking of her as the one who brought the documents and planned on paying the bill.  Then her son called from jail.  We were five minutes into the conversation before I saw Mom’s cell phone listed his name as “Bug.”

This grown man who had done horrible things, who was now sitting in jail for what might be a long time, was called Bug.  At least to one woman.  I saw him not as a monster but as a man.  I saw her not as a checkbook, but as a mother.  And I saw you boys, as I often do, as true gifts from God.  Little miracles that I’m thankful for every day. Even when it’s hard.

Why do I tell you this?

Two reasons, I think.

1.) I think what this man did started in his mind.  I think he struggled with it for a long time.  A long time.  Deep mental pain, guilt, anguish, fear, compulsion.  It’s the rare individual who is a true sociopath.

No matter what you boys are going through, you can come to me.  Anything.  Whether it’s major or minor.  I don’t care.  I won’t judge.  I want to help you.  Always.  Please know you can come to me.  The worse it is, the harder it is to think or to say, the more you might need somebody.  I’m here.

With any luck, you boys will only have enough struggles to turn you into men.  No more, no less.  But whatever struggles you have, you can count on me.

2.) To some, he’s a monster.  To Mom, he’s bug.  To me, he’s a human being.  The actions I read about were monstrous.  But Mom could tell you the other side.  I advocate for human beings.

I love you guys.

Dad

 

 

 

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Siblings

November 29, 2014

Hey Guys, Aunt Heather sent something to me about siblings… http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/11/27/366789136/your-adult-siblings-may-be-the-secret-to-a-long-happy-life I really hope you two are close.  I hope you guys always have each other and have […]

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America, Surgery, and a First Haircut

November 16, 2014

Decker and Gibson, I have a bunch of unrelated things to relay to you today. First, I read something pretty awesome on Quora this morning.  I think […]

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The Best of Humanity

November 5, 2014

Deck and Gibby, I just came across a pretty awesome webpage – Some of the Best Moments of Humanity.  Acts big and small are super important.  And […]

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So Happy

October 29, 2014

Dear Gibson, Man!  You are so happy.  You always have a smile for me.  Always.  Like almost literally every time I look at you.  It makes me […]

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You’re 2!!!

October 24, 2014

Decker, I can’t believe it!  You turned two yesterday.  I just looked back at how many letters I’ve written you.  More than 50!  Wow.  It feels like […]

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A Bunch of Good Advice

October 8, 2014

Hey Boys, I don’t have the monopoly on good advice.  I probably don’t even a noticeable market share on good advice.  The below is an excellent list […]

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It Really is So Big

September 25, 2014

Decker and Gibson, Whenever I fly into Baltimore – whenever I fly into our home – I try to get my bearings, kind of see where I […]

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Being a Hater Gets You Nowhere

September 22, 2014

Decker and Gibson, AVVO is a company in the lawyer marketing space.  For some time, I was an AVVO hater.  They will never work.  They don’t offer […]

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