Happening to the World

by Byron on August 17, 2014

Boys,

People lean two major ways.  One way is people who let the world happen to them.  The other way is people who happen to the world.

Each method/characteristic has its own advantages and disadvantages.  People who let the world happen to them tend to be easier going.  They live and let live, seldom imposing their own will onto a situation.  They are calm.  If they aren’t careful, they can get walked on or taken advantage of by the world and by others.

People who happen to the world impose their will on situations and people.  They are more likely to get what they want, but also, ironically, somewhat more likely to be unhappy with what they get.  They take charge, lead others, and shape the world around them in a way that most others do not.  However, if they aren’t careful, they will find they’re never happy because, ultimately, God/fate/luck/destiny has a lot to do with outcomes.

Neither way is wrong nor right.  The vast majority of people, while leaning to one side, have elements of both sides in them.  You Mom leans to the let the world happen side, while I lean the other way.  However, we both have the ability to take on the opposite characteristics.

Learning to which side you lean can be helpful.  You will know yourself a little bit more and you will recognize your own behaviors.  When it’s time to take on the role you do not frequent, you’ll be better at that too.

**********************

It’s the summer of 2014.  Decker, you were in camp this summer at Bryn Mawr Little School, where you’ll start school in two weeks.  Gibson, you were home with Mommy, who had some help from Emily and Mackenzie.  We went to the Greentree Pool, hung out, and learned how to sleep.  It’s been a good summer.  We’re a family!  The four of us.  I’m so happy you guys have each other.

I love you both tons!

Dad

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What is Winning?

by Byron on July 19, 2014

Guys,

I won an award a week ago.  I was named to be part of the Fastcase 50.  You can see more about it here: http://www.fastcase.com/fastcase50-winners-2014/.  It’s given to the most innovative people in law.  Some others who have won it include: Lawrence Lessig, Ted Olsen, and many judges, law professors, and legal thinkers.  I won because I’m trying to bring more transparency into the process of choosing a lawyer.

It’s awesome to be a winner.  I’m about as competitive as they come.  With such a competitive streak, it’s important I know what I’m competing for.  It’s important I know what winning means for me.  At various times in my life, winning has meant money, fame, prestige, knowledge, laziness, power.  It’s not to say I’ve had all of those things, just that my definition of winning had those as a big component.

Obviously, with the Fastcase award comes a (small) bit of fame.  It’s a nice feeling, but it doesn’t drive me.

What does drive me?

The truth is, I don’t know.  I seek inspiration where I can find it, and I try to run with it.  I’m inspired, most of all, by you guys.  I love watching you grow and develop.  I love seeing your happiness.  Each of your happiness is such an inspiration, a gift from God, a motivator, a driver.

Transparency (in the law and elsewhere) has become something that drives me.  Helping the little guy get what he needs from the big guy drives me.

It’s not all altruistic.  Money motivates me.  But not in the ways it used to.  It motivates now so we can have a life we’re happy with, so you boys can be educated, so we can be safe, so life has some easy spots, and so we can experience the world.

My former unbridled desires, wishes, and needs themselves forced me into perspective.  The desire for one thing over all others doesn’t eliminate the possibility of attaining it, but I do believe it eliminates the possibility of being happy with it.  More only wants more more.

Gandhi says it much better than I in the seven social sins.

I love you guys.  I hope you figure out what drives you and I hope you have the courage to follow it.  Let me know how I can help.

Love,

Dad

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